Today was a very bad day. I woke up to my daughter sobbing her heart out after seeing a video texted to her by two of her friends. Being a tween sucks. Being a parent sucks.
After I emailed the video to the parents of these girls, I spoke to one of them on the phone. She was appalled. I'm appalled. I'm incredibly hurt for my daughter. And yet, I know these girls aren't bad girls. They made a bad decision. I don't know why, and I don't know if I'll ever know why.
A couple of years ago, Emma did something pretty awful. I was devastated, and she had to deal with the consequences, which included losing an important friendship. She certainly learned a lesson, and it has stayed with her. So I've been on the other side of this, and I know how hard it is.
Tomorrow morning I have to take Emma to school. One of the students who sent her this video is in her desk group. Personal relationships are the hardest thing we do in life. I have a feeling that all the kids involved in this will get over it long before I will.
Oh, this is very painful. Yes, being a tween sucks and being a parent of a tween is painful. I am appalled and feel the hurt, too. I feel at times like this the only thing we moms can do is pour maternal love on our child. Pour it on lavishly.
ReplyDeletePoor Emma! Darn girls anyway! Another one of those wretched life lessons. Help her see that by keeping her chin up, she'll come out all right; and take the wind out of the other girls' sails, too. (They're probably feeling a little guilty by now, anyway!) Try not to let it get to you too much--it's enough for Emma to see you're sorry and you support her, but if you get too upset it makes her think it's far too awful for her to handle--and it's not. Emma is probably stronger than you suspect.
ReplyDeleteWe had a similar situation last week. One of Em's friends said something hurtful to her, but not in anger, more matter-of-factly like she didn't realize it would be hurtful, but it has affected Em's self-esteem. Yes, the tween years certainly do suck, for both the kids and their parents. I'm sorry this happened to Emma. She'll get through it fine, though, with the great support from her parents. I think you're right, in the end, this will have been harder on you than it was on her.
ReplyDeleteOh ouch. I'm most shocked that a teacher seemed to be supporting these girls in kicking your daughter out of their act.
ReplyDeleteMiddle school is the very worst couple of years. Good for you, BEING THERE for your daughter. I navigated it alone (my mom was a workaholic and my parents' marriage was a mess at this time as well). I learned to act like a duck -- water off the back, etc. -- but I have very little fondness for that stage of my life.
ReplyDeleteThose little shits. (There, I said it.) I'm glad you talked with their parents and hope that everyone learns from this.
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime, I hope Emma had a good (or as good as it could get) day at school and that she's feeling a bit stronger than she was yesterday.
There is a special kind of karma that slaps behavior like this in the ass. I promise. Poor Emma. Poor you. How miserable to experience such in-your-face rudeness.
ReplyDeleteI am horrified.
ReplyDeleteI hope they learn from this--and this is why we have to talk about technology to our kids all the time; this is so much worse because of the vehicle in which it was delivered. Personally, I would consider talking to the parents and school about the girls not participating in the show at all. That would be the punishment fitting the crime.