For instance, individually we had both thought of moving. Over one of these dinners Rob brought it up apologetically, believing I wouldn't want to move. When he found out I'd been thinking along the same lines, it was a relief, and we were able to talk out what kind of time line we might be working on, and what needed doing first.
We both have loved our time here on our five acre plot. When we first moved out here, in 1998, we worked so hard on the land. We cleared large areas of weeds, took down and planted trees, carved out gardens. But we were 36 when we moved in, and we're now 14 years older. Really, we're just getting tired. Maintaining the grounds takes a huge amount of time in the summers. It's hard to travel for any length of time because of all the work that needs to be done each week, just to keep the place looking okay. We've both lost a lot of the motivation we had in those early years, as well as the energy and ability. We'll never have the money to hire people to do it for us, so, it's time to move.
Eventually we will bring Emma into this conversation, but she is pretty attached to all this land right now. We're looking at about four more years here, and I think by then she'll be easily enticed by being closer to friends, and living in a neighborhood where she can walk to various places. In the meantime, Rob and I need to come up with a list of things that need to be done to the house before we can sell it. We have a bit of work cut out for us, but it seems easier to tackle when it means a future where it takes one hour to mow the lawn rather than five.
The dream changes over time, doesn't it? I'd only add--why wait four more years? Think about all those hours spent on the yard; all that shuttling...Go!
ReplyDeleteIn our 20s, my husband and I always wished we had some acreage, but now in our 50s I'm glad it didn't happen for us. This house is enough.
ReplyDeleteAren't kid free conversations amazing? We are scheduled for one Sunday night - so looking forward to it. We may even get two in a row next weekend which is positively dreamy after the three of us spending so much time together.
ReplyDeleteEmma might be enticed sooner than you think. Good luck with breaking the news to her.
We did the same thing recently. We moved from 3 acres to just under 1/2 an acre. Our kids were reluctant at first, but they love having friends close by. They had never been able to see when other kids were playing outside in their yards before. They have had many more spontaneous playdates and have much more community at home now. Except for missing friends, they are very happy with the plusses of the move.
ReplyDeleteThat's a beautiful porch in your photo. But 5 hours to mow the lawn? I can understand your desire to move to a place with less maintenance.
ReplyDeleteI'm assuming that's the front of your house in the picture- so beautiful! And I know that's not helpful right now. I think planning four years out is a great idea- when I think of all the things we'd need to do to get our house sell-able, I think it would take about 4 years. And hurrah for adult-only conversations!
ReplyDeleteFirst, I think you are spot on needing adult conversation time with your hubby sans Emma. Second, you are both brave to talk about the quality of life, sometimes it's painful to lose things but we forget to weigh what we'll gain!
ReplyDeleteThose times of adult conversation are why my husband and I used to take evening walks alone (when we could manage to do so without a kid tagging along). I know what you mean about the hard work of upkeep: when we had a mere acre, it took more time than my husband had, and now he doesn't want to work at it all the time. Unfortunately, that doesn't keep us from dreaming of living on 40 acres.
ReplyDeleteWhen you do include Emma in the conversation (better sooner than later, so she can have the time to get used to the idea), be sure to mention the benefit of being able to walk or bike to the library. That is a key benefit for my teens.
PS: Your house and gardens look gorgeous! I'm a sucker for old houses.
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