I called today and scheduled my hip surgery. May 28th. Grades are due May 20th, and there was an opening on the 21st, but I didn't think that would be the best thing for Rob, since he and Emma will be staying in Madison during the three days I'm in the hospital. Two weeks at home with at-home visits for physical therapy, then out-patient physical therapy for another four weeks. I'm happy and anxious :-)
Something important I have learned about myself over the last few months: I'm not very good at asking for help. I'm used to being efficient and effective. I've always been physically active, strong (being tall comes with a certain natural strength), and able to Get. Things. Done.
It's really important to me to get into a bed at night that's been made. I can still make the bed, but walking and bending is difficult, so it's been getting harder. I didn't ask for help on this one, but Rob just started making the bed every morning (he's always the last one out of it). I have thanked him, frequently, since he doesn't care about getting into a made bed and is only doing it for me.
Grocery shopping has been really frustrating over the last year, so that I was invariably in a really bad mood by the end of it. I kept wondering why Emma wanted to go with me, when I got so grumpy. But she did, and finally I started asking her to help me. After walking for a half hour, my hip is really sore, so now while I lean on the cart, she puts the groceries up on the counter. She gets the trunk open, helps get the bags in, and wheels the cart to the caddy. She carries more than half the bags into the house, and helps me put the groceries away. After asking for her help a couple of times, she now offers to do it all. (I haven't used one of those wheelchair-like carts for two reasons: I feel too stupid, and I keep thinking that I already do enough sitting, so any forced walking is actually good for me.)
Over Christmas, I asked Rob to buy me a cane --I'm pretty unstable, and I was worried about snow and ice. I should have done this last semester, because it has made a huge difference for my back. I'll admit I feel pretty stupid walking around with a cane, especially in front of my students, but it really helps.
And it's only temporary. By the next school year, walking should again be a pleasurable activity. I'm excited about that :-)
I'm excited for you! And kudos to your family for being so supportive.
ReplyDeleteAlso? I've been telling people for years that taller people really are stronger, but no one seems to believe me!
Very exciting news!
ReplyDeleteYay surgery!
ReplyDeleteWhen I was sidelined by foot surgery and had to hobble with a walker-then-a-cane, and it hurt to be on my feet for more than a few minutes at a time, it was SO hard to ask for help, and I felt SO conspicuous! Same with the half-year that I had no front teeth and had a terrible denture (now I have uber-bionic dental implants there--SO worth all the hassle!)
My point is--it really IS a short time, in the grand scheme. And your family (and friends, and colleagues) are anxious to help--take them up on their offers. The world will keep whirling without you to turn the crank. You know you'd help THEM, right? And forgive their weaknesses? You will be an Amazon again before you know it. And best of all, NO MORE PAIN!
I have had to explain to my kids that I WANT to push the cart because it is my pseudo-walker. It sounds like your husband and daughter are being really helpful and that is wonderful!
ReplyDeleteDon't forget to ask for one of those temporary disabled parking permits. It's worth it to have short trips between the car and the grocery store, especially since going out is so helpful for mental health.
I am so happy that your surgery is finally scheduled. Do you know yet how quickly you'll start PT afterward?
ReplyDeleteYou are smart to want to keep moving as much as possible -- my doctor just told me that a huge mistake a lot of people make is to stop moving, which then causes them to lose a lot of their strength and flexibility. If at all possible, people should be as active as they can up until surgery. I did that when I had knee surgery and was told afterward that it really helped with my fast recovery. I'm currently having back problems and my doctor was very clear this week that she doesn't want me to lie down all the time, that I need to keep moving every day. (Not that I'd be inclined to lay around.) :-)
I think it's awesome that Emma and Rob are picking up the slack and doing more. It's helpful to you, but it's also a good lesson for your daughter.
It is refreshing to see that your family members want to help you. I'm sorry it's so painful to walk around and hope and pray your surgery goes well.
ReplyDeleteWhen my husband broke his leg, he tried one of those motorized shopping carts. It was eye-opening for him - it was very difficult to get around the store, which puts all kinds of obstacles in the aisles, and hard to reach things on the shelves.
Oh, and about the temp disabled parking permit: in our state, Pennsylvania, it took a good 6 weeks to even get the darn thing. In a perfect world, he should have been handed a temp parking permit when he left the hospital. By the time we actually got it, he was no longer using crutches, but he was still glad to have it. I agree with Karen - if you can get one, use it.
Your weakness builds their strength!
ReplyDeleteI bet you cannot WAIT to be fully mobile once again. Thank goodness there's light at the end of the tunnel.