Friday, March 7, 2014

Putting the Lie to My Last Post!

So last night (actually very early this morning) I had a disturbing dream! I know! Right after posting about how I don't have them anymore. 

This was truly disturbing too. I was visiting my parents. They had moved to some retirement community (the only way my mom would ever do this in real life is if she was already dead), and they had custody of Emma. Rob did not appear in this dream --apparently I was a single parent and I'd just abandoned Emma to my parents when I moved to some other town for a job opportunity.

This retirement community was very open-plan, and totally unfurnished. I mean, they had to buy their own toilet. Yeah. And for some reason they had purchased a very short wooden one. And my parents are tall with bad knees! And weirdly, my mom was very zen about it all, which in general is not a word anyone would use to describe my mom.

The overpowering feeling of the dream was one of horror at myself for abandoning Emma to her rather eccentric grandparents. How could I have done this?!

Anyway, I know nothing about what dreams mean, but lately Emma has not needed to snuggle before going to bed. I'm always in bed before her these days, and she would come in and lie down beside me and we'd snuggle and chat --some days it was real work to get her to leave and go to her bed. Suddenly within the last week, she just comes in, gives me a kiss and says goodnight, and leaves. 

I think I'm feeling abandoned. Or else I'm feeling guilty that it's a relief not to have to battle to get her to bed anymore.  :-)


6 comments:

  1. Hmmm... abandonment issues from an opposite angle... I think I have this, too! It's no fun to have a formerly snuggly child suddenly outgrow the snuggles. My young teen has put himself to bed for several years now (before we even moved here in 2011) and there have been days lately that I don't even see him.

    Now the toilet part of that dream... I can't begin to explain that one!

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  2. Every time I think we've had the last bedtime snuggle, she requests one more. One of these days, it really will be the last one. I know it's going to be a blessing/sadness.

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  3. Aw, I know what you mean about losing the snuggle time. I used to have one who would snuggle a bit first thing in the morning and now that is very rare.

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  4. You are probably feeling both. To give you some comfort though, my snuggle bunny will still spend a night on the couch with me in full snuggle mode when she is home from school.

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  5. I certainly think dreams reflect what's going on in our lives, to a certain extent. I often dream about my dogs getting lost or running out into the road, which makes sense since they're the ones depending on me each day more than my adult children. I have some vivid awful dreams at times and wonder the next day what prompted them. But more often than not, I dream about ordinary things like gardening or even loading the dishwasher--you can't get much more boring than that:)

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  6. "Guilty relief"- I think that might be the term that best encompasses my parenting experience as a whole. I don't generally go in for dream interpretation (I always rolled my eyes anytime someone mentioned Jung in my psych classes, which was surely delightful for my classmates), so... I'm no help. This dream sounded like most of my dreams, however, in that they're very loosely based in reality but with completely nonsensical details.

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